If Slimes McKenzie had a Farm

Back in the floating remnants of the Vatican, sisters peacefully spent an unregistered amount of time watching TV shows and chilling. All while feeding off the sheep meat sandwiches from the impromptu refrigerator. After about 66 seasons of :random Anime:, they fell into a logistical well of illogical priorities, caused by consuming too much protein. Merango was activated and purposeless, stupid, unfocused, too much testosterone. Salsa anxious, disoriented, manic, slapped a sheep on the but, slapped another one. Merango grinds through the unbrushed teeth:

“We’re leaving.”

Salsa nodded.

They jump off the Vatican Shadow, the same way they entered it. Falling, Salsa realized that they made a grand logistical mistake. They should have kept the mindset to the main mission - acquire repellers + destroy the dragons.

“Merango this is a self sabotage.”

“Salsa. Tell me, do you recall my teachings?”

Salsa introspectively made her pupils large and flat,

“Are you referring to the Slav Logistics maneuver?”

“True, I am, and this one, by the glory of the Balkan Antipope was perfectly executed, completely uncalled for. Naturalist I’d say.”

“So… we are in God's hands?”

“More like behind his ass, and that’s just perfect. If he was standing in the Vatican he would have been facing towards the front, and since we are falling away from his shadow, we are behind his ass. Therefore he can’t completely control our destiny or bless us with the passage of truth. This way we can seek a crack in the logic and by God's wisdom unlock more shadow quests.”

“That’s basically just your rephrase of the fact that we are idiots. Carrying the idiot gene, of those extinct barbaric Slav people, back in das Earth days.”

“Yes, Mothership said it was unavoidable, they could not isolate the gene. Obvs that made me curious. Like why would Mom try to eliminate it. Is just a basic totally banal meta-gene”

“ So you enhanced it?”

“ Precisely. ‘

“ wack.”

‘ Totally ne dobro”

‘ So you agree that that metaslav-gene is not very useful ?

‘ I think it’s a key component to chaos we badly need “

‘. I see. ‘

“ so…. We’re about to hit the ground soon.’

‘ I HOPE WE LAND SOFT.

The evil within Merango whispered:

“And I hope I die, one last time.”

“All creatures in the universe return

to the point where they began.

Returning to the source is tranquility.

Because we submit to Heaven's Mandate.

Returning to Heaven's Mandate

is called being constant.”

- Tao Te Ching

“ Hello Muskarci !”

Sisters looked up into the blinding light above the sandy, dead and deserted ground they fell to. Merango squinted:

“ We're not dead yet?”

AI generated cat-thing, spawning about five long legs, walked by the sisters. Its skin inside out. Tall as a horse. The thing shot the invisible wave of radiation and confused Merango to the point of whitening out their eyeballs and triggering another blackout.

….:::....... -A- -G- E O F A Q U A R I U S ::::.....

Merangos Memory y40g35

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//()=i0)....:::...,...:::..v v V

Void darkness of impenetrable mundane, non nutritious, muddy, doom like atmosphere, -5C, rain and snow falling at the same time. No supply of vitamin D except if you buy it for 300 shitcoins on a monthly subscription. Sludge mud and people walking on it.

Merango was listening to the Web69 Radio host, the infamous DJ Dust Bunny Mate, while walking towards the Old German shopping mall. Storefronts packed an insane amount of wooden nutcracker toys and also sported a brilliant oldschool butchery below the ground floor. The Fleischerai house sold roasted pig by slice, thankfully without any subscription. Merango was skinny. Everyone got skinny, no one looked very healthy since the meta war, people ate powders, it was a recession, Age of Pisces coming to the Age of Aquarius in the five hundredth peak of capitalism.

Merango patted the snow off her fluffy fur crop top jacket, shaking underneath a glistening white leather bodysuit. She scratched her crotch and spun a big rotating silver casino belt above it. Passing by the security guards she pulled out a nose spray and hit it 10 times as an electric staircase descended towards the butcher. Dude working there was an obvious hard core otaku that just perma-cosplayed some Yaoi character, below his work suit.

“Sonny darlin’, Bitte…em… Ein pork roast slice ye? “

Dude misanthropically obeyed Merangos order and handed over a warm package.

“Danke schon dear”

Leaving the mall Merango managed to casually steal about 15 more pieces of food, for her squad in the basement. Freezing on the station, she balanced the device in one hand, and a big piece of meat in the other. Chewing it while sniffing and sifting through Dust Bunnies video messages. Glossy device had grease all over the screen. Some lady snared with disgust while Merango boarded the Bus 10k90

“ last stop Wilterschmertz, incoming. “

Robotic voice called out.

Bones of a bird

Reptile spkje

An abuser is an udser

X r block

End of the memory sample.

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Frog Rogers hasn't seen such a banal but functioning specimen in a long ass time. The two bros in front of him actually looked decent. 2 legs 4 arms “good good” he said and ate a slice of pizza that was badangling in his left arm while he was riding a donkey.

Extremely deep dark voice radiated from the upper right side of Frog Rogers, who was madly ignoring the man:

“ I get the crazy drivers man, and the crunchy crunch cockroaches of western civilization slap me silly Bo, ro? Boohoo Ro do you hear me when I'm talking? “

“Js chill man.” Rogers replied while digging through the leather pouch, he stuck the pizza slice back in there. Dark trenchant voice coming from above was his co-rider friend. His companion, Mr. Genesis M. Shadow, and for anyone interested - M stood for Metal.

Genesis was a slender shadow figure, simply an elongated darkness with a leather hat. Plentiful of layered bondage wraps curled around his ethereal body, from top till bottom of the black boots. On the heel the chrome star shimmered, ready to poke at the Rathorses behind, in times of urgency that was never needed. There was no need to hurry in a place without time.

“ Yo guys! Hello!”

Merango enthusiastically waved at Roger and Shadow, mumbling out:

“ Do you guys know what z the time?”

Frog bursted laughing.

“ Yeeehahahahahaha funny you ask that.”

Merango scratched their head “Why?”

Shadow answered with an extremely deep voice:

“Because you are in a place of no time, no time at all.”

Salsa orbited around Rathorse, trying to get a glance at Shadows face:

“That's wack Mr.”

“Ummmmm…” Salsa and Merango began the usual unsolicited cross twin talk introduction: “ Where did you get this horse man? Do you have water? We R e thirsty? What is this deserts? Do you have food? Where is the toilet? Is there a bus stop? We wanna go back to Fluffington! No no no… we want to find Ikea. Actually we need a couch, and dragon repellers but we fell down from the …”

Roger: “Stop, stop, stop, I don't want to know.”

Salsa: “Why”

Roger: “It's none of my business, your business - none of mine.”

Merango: “Ok.”

Shadow: “ Well, if you want you can join us for a tea ceremony, it's not too far, we just need to find a black cactus and it should lead to the upside down cottage.”

Merango: “Mmmm I don't think we have time for that mate. I'm sorry.”

Frog: “But it would be so sweet if you joined”

Merango: “No no next time im sorry.”

Salsa: “Were too busy”

Moment of silence.

The four of them were standing in the desert. It was very hot, Air was bleached by the heath.

Frog Rodgers, in the swift passing of a few seconds, took out a revolver and shot Merango in the head. Salsa didn’t have enough time to react, in the place without time. Mr Shadows Rathorse leaned over swallowing them both underneath his leather coat. Sisters got kidnapped.

-_-_-- Dust Bunny: “ I told you that Domestic Duck told me to tell you that you are going to get kidnapped one day” kla--d---

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Continuation of the Memory y40g35

Memory y40g36

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Merango and Salem are sitting on a black block of rubber, rubbing tiger balm on their forehead. Both are bleeding nasally.

“I'm bleeding from my nose and vagina at the same time.”

Salem vented. Merango continued to rub the tiger balm on the blind eye.

Salem added “I recently optioned to have my periods through the nose, I find it more exotic, more out there, more future. Like I am in charge, I EXHIBIT the behavior.”

Merango nodded: “It’s like nasal fetish era, I totally get you, after those decades of people binging on sniffables world finally understood how much the good old nasal in-and-out was in the dark.“

“The zeitgeist finally spoke to the world of corporate science. Speaking of which, should we order some food?”

“Powdered? Liquid? Solid?”

“I’d do solid, I’m sick of liquid due to bleeding, and powders…”

“Understood”

Recently the world felt like there was a plot hole in it. Merango could not mount the existential puzzle off her head. She even made it a fashion statement. 3D printed some junk pieces of puzzle in silver, through her friend Giovanni in Florence. Designed the hat herself. In the freeze lab, how they called the Studio.

Big silver puzzle and a lot of bleeding. That was the November look.

In the upper corner of the bunker, on a bleached wall, a fake security camera pointed at the room. Unplugged. Cut wire dangled on the side of the camera. It was placed as a reminder that all eyes can see, even the ones unplugged. Below the camera shined an oil painted handwriting:

“One eye on the titties & one eye on the streets''.

In order to prove to the people of Wezenzimeresense district that whatever they pull in or out of their heads, shall inevitably become scavenged by the corporate titan of the fashion industry. And from all the anarchists in Wezenzimeresense district, the agents fancy to anchor their mood boards on Selam the most. Merango on the contrary, was used for public crucifixion since birth. Therefore she aged into an utmost annoying whistleblowing madcase in the public sphere.

“It’s like a shitmatrix. Like a not cool matrix. Or…I´d say it is Gregg Araki realism. As if you know, we all know what's up, but it is too silly to be taken seriously so we just ride with it. “

“People be losing their minds.” Salem proclaimed adding mascara to his eyelash. Merango dialed the delivery system, mumbling at the selfie cam:

“Humans will at some point realize that the Mandelbulb situation is THE situation.”.

Salem: “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Doorbell rang.

Merango: “Will clarify, in a bit.”

::::(//777 text input:

Humanity going to look back at me and paypal's lore and be like Brahma was the assorted weeds growing below the fence Hh h u manity going to look back at me and paypal's lore and be like Brahma was the assorted weeds growing below the fence

And by the abdullahi, i get you

Lady Sobriety and Mr. Fascism

Carrot the Shadowman

·

4s

The World is in a huge plot hole.

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Frog Rodgers unlocked cabin 11 at the Mastury club highland resort and let the Shadowman inside. They dropped the wobbly sisters onto the scarce wooden furniture, and got them back to consciousness.

“Frog? Why did you kidnap us?” Salsa asked

“Because it is rare these days to find conversational specimens” Frog replied. Shadow Genesis picked out the smallest chair in the cabin, growling in addition

“ You two are indeed, curious antiques… “

Worrisome tension commenced as the quartet scanned each other's appearance and listed the possibilities of mutual discrimination, cognitive action exclusively happening behind the scenes of the long period of silence. & Salsa broke the silence, in her sociologic naivety.

“So, why are we all eyeballing each other?”

Merango calculated the southern accent and asked the Frog:

“I'm curious about these kidnappers' alignment, yáll bros foreign?”

“I hope we are to be judged with sympathetic judiciousness,” Rodgers replied, in a somehow performative way. Little clues that gave enough reason for a suspicion. Well at least to Merango who was one and a half decade older than Salsa.

From Salsa's perspective, all Frog people were totally great, based on only one Frog Salsa ever met. Second character kinda resembled Shroomboy, just kinda more goth she assumed, so he must be fine.

“ Yo Mr Shadowman? Is there food here?” Salsa asked, making Genesis M. flinch a bit oddly: “My name is M. Shadow little one.”

That clue was enough for Merango to know exactly who the two dudes actually are. While kidnappers tried to pinpoint what exactly they had in the kitchen that could satisfy Salsa's hunger. Merango put on the most dumb ass face possible, while finalizing the paranoid analysis of their infinite clout knowledge.

Inner monologue logistics commenced:

Carrot T. Shadowman is the name of one of the three brothers, Shadow M. Genesis sitting in front of them, and their little friend DJ Shroomboy. Merango never met Genesis but she knew Carrot, the oldest one. Shroomboy decided to renegade from the main spore, the place where all the mushroom based organisms resided.

So Shroomboy moved away to the city where he met Merango, who was fighting for underground sovereignty in the first apocalyptic survivalist war. What got them closer was the fact that Shroomers brothers Carrot and Shadow, work for Mothership, main axle of The Black Hole.

Since Merango was considering themselves an ungovernable, self-proclaimed sovereign, a warrior, anyone outside the underground, and outside the bodies of Salsa and Merango, belonged to the very complex system of post apocalyptic High Control multi species hierarchy - The Black Hole Committee.

Merango tried to telepathically air drop the warning to Salsas brain: “They´re definitely from the PECCO and reporting to Mothership. We gotta gtfo asap.” This technique almost always worked but this time something blocked it. Merango excused herself to the toilet, thanking God that Salsa was dragging enough of their attention.

“They must know who we are, they tracked me for sure.” Merango reckoned while pissing. Then with a clairvoyant level of paranoia came to the conclusion that they for sure wanna mine their memories. Would be best to figure out what exact memory they are in need of extracting. Merango double locked the door, pulled up the sleeves to scratch rusty old narcotic dispenser bulking underneath their forearm. They dialed for their last batch of tranquilizer, which they would never use in their right mind, unless for utter urgency.

0.03mgX of HB0 psychedelic liquids, dialed to the level of blackout. Merango opened the shower and crouched below the stream, waiting for the Deeper Hole.

....

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